Naruko's Halloween!
by Kasa Nichi
Summary: Sakura is pressuring everyone to go to Ino's Halloween party and Naruto agrees to go with Gaara but what happens when Sasuke sees Naruto's costume? Sasunaru, GaaLee, LeeSaku, KakaIru
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this

Chapter One: Green-eyed Monster

"Morning, Sakura!" Naruto grinned at the pink haired girl as he ran up to his team's usual meeting place.

"Good Morning, Naruto." She smiled at him sweetly.

"Ossu teme." Naruto glared mildly at Sasuke.

"Hn, dobe." Sasuke replied.

"Ne, Naruto, do you have a costume yet?"

"Eh? Costume?" Naruto blinked and Sasuke smirked.

"For Halloween!" Sakura giggled.

"…Halloween? I…I don't like Halloween dattebayo."

"What?! How can you not like Halloween? You get to dress up and get candy! I even convinced Sasuke kun to go trick-or-treating with us and he hates people and sweets!"

"Saa, I just don't like it." Naruto gave her a dorky smile. "It scares me."

"You dork! How can it scare you?"

Sasuke glared at the lying dobe.

"All the people dressed like ghosts and skeletons…" Naruto pretended to shudder.

"Baka. So you're not coming to Ino's party?"

"Uh, I'll think about it tebayo!"

"You better come! I'm dressing like a nurse. Sasuke kun doesn't have a costume either."

Sasuke watched Naruto all day during their mission. How could Sakura not see he was lying? But why would Naruto not like Halloween? It was the ultimate prankster holiday. Naruto should be making elaborate schemes to egg the Hokage tower or something.

"So any ideas on what your costume will be yet, Sasuke kun?" Sasuke's stomach lurched at the flirty smile Sakura threw at him. "You could be a doctor and we could go to Ino's party together."

"No."

"Ha ha, why don't you just dress in your 'Orochimaru's slut' outfit? Then everyone would be scared shitless or passed out from blood loss tebayo!"

Sasuke glared at the blonde.

Naruto shrugged and looked away. "It's true dattebayo."

"Shut up, dobe."

"Cocky bastard."

Sakura put a hand on each of them to separate them.

"You two could go as Uchiha Madara and the first Hokage ne."

Both boys looked at her like she was insane.

"Tch." Sasuke scoffed and they continued home.

The next day was a day off and Naruto was wandering around the market, debating with himself if he should buy candy for his night of scary movies on Halloween. He had told Sakura that he would think about Ino's party but he didn't see a point in going. He'd never gone out for Halloween before, why start now?

_**Kami, kit, get the goddamn candy already! We've been standing here for five minutes and the woman is staring at you like you're retarded!!**_ Kyuubi screamed at him and he sweatdropped and purchased five assorted bags of candy.

_**Oh, it's Shukaku no gaki…**_Kyuubi announced. _**I think he wants to talk to you.**_

Naruto hefted his plastic bag of candy and turned to see Gaara headed his way. He met Gaara just outside the door and smiled.

"Gaara! What's up, man? You in town for a while? Don't you have duties as Kazekage to be attending to?"

"Lee insisted I come over here for some party and then Sakura asked him so I'm stuck as a third wheel." Gaara said and Naruto raised an eyebrow at the gleam in his eyes.

Naruto laughed. "Are you jealous? Don't tell me you like bushy brows! That's rich!!" Naruto doubled over in his laughter and Gaara glared at him.

"I. Am. NOT. JEALOUS."

"Uh-huh, whatever." Naruto wiped his eyes, pushing back the image of Gaara in a wedding dress and Lee in a green tux in a chapel. "So just go stag, dude."

Gaara glared harder, if possible. "If I'm going stag, I might as well just go home."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know anyone here. And I assume you're not going."

Naruto looked shocked and he tilted his head to the side. "Why's that?"

"It wasn't safe when you were little, was it?"

Naruto's eyes got huge. "You too?"

Gaara nodded. "If I weren't the Kazekage's kid, I'm sure my house would have been tricked cruelly every year."

Naruto hung his head and gripped the plastic handle of his bag tighter.

"Has anything happened recently?" Gaara asked softly.

Naruto looked up and thought about it. "No…not for…not since I brought Sasuke back."

"That long?" Gaara seemed surprised if the tiny widening of his eyes was a hint.

"Yeah…" Naruto almost smiled at that.

"Then you should be safe. Come with me."

"What?!" Naruto looked at the redhead in shock.

"Be my date. As a friend-supporting-each-other sort of thing. You help me be social, I get you away from the scary movie marathons."

Naruto grinned. "You don't just want me in hopes of making bushy brows jealous?"

Gaara's glare returned in an instant and Naruto grinned cheekily at him.

"So what's your costume?"

Gaara almost smiled. Naruto grinned at the twitching of the redhead's lips.

"It's a blue 1800's lord costume."

Naruto thought for a moment. "You mean that thing with the frilly neck thing and tights?"

"Yes."

Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Temari insisted."

"Man, you gotta build up some resistance to peer pressure!"

"…"

"So…something to match you so we make Lee jealous…" Gaara, surprisingly, didn't glare this time. "Hmm…being another lord won't do anything, can't be a slave…OH!"

Gaara cringed in his mind at the excited, devious spark in Naruto's crystal eyes.

"I'll go as your mistress! In my sexy no jutsu!"

Gaara visibly twitched.

"It's perfect! You're outfit's blue, right? So I'll get a blue 1800's gown costume and make myself simply ravishing!" Naruto pretended to blush and cover his little feminine smile.

"Is there something about you and the Uchiha you'd like to tell me?" Gaara's eyes narrowed slightly in an amused smirk.

"Huh? What're you talking about?" Naruto paused and then pulled a very childish "ew" face. "You pervert! We're not having sex!"

Gaara raised an invisible eyebrow at that response. The blonde hadn't denied that they were gay for each other, or that they were even doing something less than sex but just as gay…hmm…

Gaara looked at his watch. "Oh. I have to get going, Naruto. I'm staying at Lee's, I'll give you a call later to make better plans."

Their eyes met and Naruto smiled at the open emotion shining in the boy's teal eyes. "Thanks, Naruto."

"No problem, that's what friends are for, baka."

Gaara hesitated at that, and Naruto stared in shock as a normal, genuine smile stretched across Gaara's face. The redhead nodded at the silent blonde and disappeared back into the crowd.

Naruto shook his head vigorously and saved the image of Gaara's smile right next to Sasuke's as the rarest possible black mail. Not that he'd ever black mail Gaara.

_**I wonder if it's a side affect of us that all you kids turn out gay?**_ Kyuubi wondered very loudly to himself.

_Shut up, stupid fox, and help me think of how to get an awesome costume._

_**Tch, I don't have to do anything.**_

_Do you want raamen for lunch or not?_

_**……fine.**_

Naruto grinned and the woman who owned the store he was loitering at wondered if he was just insane.

Naruto immersed himself into the crowd in search of a costume shop.

Tsuzuku

Notes: Ossu means "hey", generally used by guys; gaki means brat; I'm making it so that it's Kyuubi that likes raamen so much; I'm not spelling raamen wrong, that's how it's written in Japanese at the raamen stand


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this

Chapter Two: Wet Dreams

two days until Halloween

Sakura sighed contently as she plopped down on the stool next to Naruto. She looked back to see Sasuke lifting a piece of the raamen banner out of his way before he walked through the raamen stand and took the seat to the other side of the blonde.

They waited for their sensei (Naruto insisted they shouldn't, even if he _was_ paying) until they ordered and Sakura propped her chin on her palm and looked at her teammates.

"Two days! I can't wait! Are you guys ready for it?" She chirped excitedly.

Sasuke nodded, staring at his unopened chopsticks.

"Almost! I just have to add some details tebayo." Naruto chirped back.

"Wait, are you MAKING your costume?" Sakura's eyes got big when Naruto nodded happily.

"Yeah, it's much better than trying to search for just the right thing. I gave up after a couple hours and just bought the material myself."

"You can sew?" Sakura was flabbergasted.

Naruto gave her a weird look. "Sewing machines aren't that hard to figure out, Sakura chan."

"So what are you making, Naruto?" Kakashi asked, mimicking Sakura's pose much to her annoyance.

Naruto giggled and everyone stared. "I can't tell you! You have to wait and see tebayo!"

Sakura pouted and leaned forward slightly to look past Naruto. "What about you, Sasuke kun? You going to tell us yet?" She pleaded. Sasuke shook his head 'no' and she sighed in defeat.

Their raamen arrived and Naruto half-yelled itadakimasu and dug into his bowl.

"Are you sure you won't join us for trick-or-treating, Naruto?" Sakura asked, blowing on her noodles to cool them.

Naruto paused. "I'm sure. Gaara doesn't want to so we're going to watch a couple movies at my place and then head to the party about half an hour after it starts."

"Why does it matter what Gaara wants to do? If you want to come trick-or-treating, then come." Sasuke grumbled at his raamen. Honestly, he had only agreed to go trick-or-treating with Sakura and the rest of the Rookie 9 because he had thought for sure that Naruto was going to be there.

"Because I'm his date for the evening, teme!" Naruto growled past a mouthful of noodles.

Sasuke's grip on his chopsticks tightened and he swallowed the snarl rising up his throat. He really needed to get off his lazy ass and kill the stupid redhead already. Then Naruto would for sure be his for the taking.

"I'm glad Gaara san has found somebody. He's already nineteen, it's about time." Sakura nodded to herself.

"Yeah, me too." Naruto smirked.

"Yeah, Sasuke," Kakashi grinned under his mask. "You're twenty! You plan on being a virgin for your whole life?"

Sasuke's chopsticks snapped in half.

"No way! You're still a virgin, Sasuke?!" Naruto started laughing at the infuriated glare he received. "I totally thought Orochimaru had raped you upside down and backwards!"

"What about you, dobe? You're still a virgin too!" Sasuke growled.

Naruto turned pink and stared at his chopsticks. "Actually…I lost my virginity on my 15th birthday…"

Sasuke saw red. The dobe had been having sex for five whole years? Without him?!

Team 7 watched the Uchiha storm out of the raamen shop and disappear on the roof of a nearby building.

"Should we go after him?"

"No, let him dislodge the stick in his ass himself." Naruto muttered darkly.

"So, Naruto, was it anyone we know?" Kakashi asked.

"Huh? Oh, no, it was just some random girl that Erosannin picked out for me…"

"That's horrible!"

"I'm sure it wasn't." Kakashi smiled.

"You pervert!" Sakura screeched and punched her sensei solidly on the arm, making Naruto wince just watching.

"Gomen, gomen, Sakura," Kakashi pleaded and she huffed and they finished their raamen in relative silence.

:break:

Naruto closed his door behind him and shrugged off his jacket.

_I wonder what the hell was wrong with teme earlier?_

_**Seriously, kit? You really aren't the brightest bulb, are you?**_

_The hell's that supposed to mean?! _Naruto growled back, slipping his shoes off.

_**The Uchiha was jealous, dumb ass.**_

Naruto paused in the doorway of his kitchen.

_Jealous? Jealous of what?_

_**Why, kami, WHY did you have to give me the idiot?**_

_Fucking fox—_

_**He was jealous of you, moron! You can't honestly tell me you haven't noticed the way he looks at you? It's creepy…**_

"… are you just fucking with me?" Naruto growled out loud to his zipper as he started stripping for bed.

_**Yes, Naruto, because I'm just that evil.**_

_……………………._

_**Retard.**_

_Hey!_

Naruto settled into his bed and turned off the lamp.

_No raamen for a week._

_**You little fucker!**_

Naruto grinned to himself and closed his eyes.

:break:

one day left until Halloween

Naruto flopped around in his bed, trying to fight off the sunbeams that were invading his dream. He groaned and rolled over and jolted away when he felt why he wanted to keep dreaming.

"The hell?" He sat up and glared at the morning wood that tented his blankets proudly. "Kyuubi," he whined, wiping his eye.

_**Yes?**_ Kyuubi's voice came, sugary sweet, which made it a hundred times scarier.

_I thought you said you'd stop the wet dreams for me!_

_**You take away my raamen you get hell to pay, bitch.**_

Naruto twitched. _I'm not a girl._

_**Yes, I can see that.**_ The fox sounded far too amused at the situation.

_Kami, I fucking hate you sometimes._

_**Don't worry, kit, the feeling is completely mutual. Now go take a shower so I don't have to look at that anymore.**_

_Psh. You made it, you can live with it; I'm not ready for a shower._

Kyuubi growled and Naruto tensed as the sound echoed through his mind.

Suddenly a stream of images of naked Sasukes flooded his mind and he choked and groaned when he managed to magically get even harder.

_You win this time, damn fox._ Naruto threw the covers back angrily and trudged to the shower to the sound of Kyuubi snickering in his head.

:break:

Naruto glared down at his raamen breakfast, his hair still dark gold and matted from his shower.

_I can't believe you used Sasuke against me._

_**Why don't you ask him out already?**_ Kyuubi offered lazily, glad that Naruto didn't have anything but raamen to eat.

_Oh, yeah, cuz it's just that easy._ Naruto snapped back, inner voice dripping with sarcasm

_**Stupid kit, it is 'just that easy'. Just walk up to the bastard say 'hey, let's be boyfriends!'**_

_That's gay even for us, Kyuubi…_

_**Tch, whatever. Just slam him up against the wall and dry fuck him, I'm sure the little bitch would love that.**_

Naruto spewed his raamen and Kyuubi frowned at the lost delicacy.

_What the FUCK, Kyuubi?! If you don't stop with that shit, I'm going to stop talking to you!_

_**…………….**_

_………………………….?_

**_Shukaku no gaki is here._**

Naruto sighed and downed the raamen broth and made his way to the door. He yanked it open just as Gaara had been about to knock.

"Come in," Naruto yawned and ruffled his hair.

Gaara did so and stared at the blonde who wore nothing but a wifebeater and a pair of orange raamen boxers. Gaara wasn't particularly sexually attracted to Naruto but sometimes the boy just screamed to be man-raped.

Gaara coughed softly and cleared his head of dirty thoughts and lifted the bag he had brought slightly so Naruto would see.

"Brought it."

"'Kay, this way," Naruto stifled another yawn and guided Gaara to his living room, which was in the worst state of disarray that Gaara had ever witnessed. And Kankuro couldn't clean his room for shit!

Naruto waded through the books and scrolls and clothes and plants and sat down at a small table covered with a sewing machine and a huge pile of baby blue silk.

"You seriously made it? With a sewing machine?"

Naruto glared at him. "Does _everyone_ think I'm too stupid to work a sewing machine?"

Gaara bit the inside of his cheek to hold back his habitually honest reply. Judging by how the blonde's nose scrunched up, though, it seemed Kyuubi had answered just as honestly.

"Fuckers," Naruto mumbled so himself, digging through the pile of silk.

Gaara took the cue and retrieved his costume from the bag and laid it out on the edge of the table.

"Alright, here it is." Naruto said, standing and holding the dress against himself.

Gaara stared. It was a beautiful dress, a simple design in the baby blue silk. He found himself wishing he could make something that beautiful.

"So?" Naruto asked. "How much decoration do we want? I'll put some white lace on it, since you have white ruffles, but do we want some embroidery to match yours? Is that gold? I'm sure I've got some gold thread somewhere…"

"No," Gaara breathed as he reached out and touched the cold silk. "Just a little bit of lace will be perfect."

"Great, I really didn't want to have to find that stupid thimble. So gold jewelry? A choker? Anything in my hair? I'll put it in a bun. Ooh, what about a fan?"

Gaara smirked, watching the blonde finally wake up, over a dress at that. "That's fine, Naruto, just keep it simple."

"Heh, wait until Lee sees this! He'll be so jealous! I bet he'll just leave Sakura to gossip with Ino and come claim you!"

"What about you then?"

"Huh? I guess I'll just hang out with the guys then, ne?"

"Is Sasuke going to be there?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed at him suspiciously. "Yes. Why do you care?"

"Just making sure you won't be too lonely."

"Hn."

"Well, I should be on my way, then. Do you want to come have brunch with me and Gai's team?"

Naruto shuddered at the thought of Neji's milky eyes. That guy seriously creeped the blonde out sometimes.

"No, thanks. I just ate."

"Alright. So I'll come by around five tomorrow?"

"That's the plan. I'll clean up some, don't worry." Naruto snickered at Gaara's distasteful glance around the room.

"Okay. I'll show myself out." Gaara nodded and put his costume in the bag and made his way out of the living room.

Naruto sat down and sighed when the door closed. He had a lot to do. So he did the most logical thing in his situation: he took a nap. Tch, he could do it all in twenty minutes with a few clones anyway.

Tsuzuku


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own...

Chapter Three: Sasu kitty

Gaara gazed at the mirror in determination. He leaned forward and looked at the bruise-like circles around his eyes. He prodded one lightly and winced. He picked up the slender tube from the counter, popped the lid off, brought the pencil up to his eye, took a deep breath, and debated how much of his dignity would be lost with this simple act. Naruto had told him to stop giving into peer pressure but damnit, it was Naruto who suggested this! Damn blonde needed to make up his damn mind! Gaara decided that he would stop giving into peer pressure and relabeled the situation as a very good suggestion given by a close friend. He nodded at himself and steadied his hand. Twenty minutes and several growls later the circles around his eyes had been darkened to a deep black by Tenten's never-before-used eyeliner. Gaara studied his eyes in the mirror and, content that none of the dark purple was visible, snapped the lid back on the pencil. At that moment, Rock Lee came crashing though the bathroom door and Gaara jumped two feet in the air like a startled cat.

"Gaara kun! Are you alright! I called your name but you did not answer!" Lee was scanning him for injuries and stopped in confusion when he saw the eyeliner clutched tightly to the redhead's chest.

"I—I'm fine, Lee san, I was just about to come out." He inwardly cursed himself for not paying attention enough to hear his name.

"YOSH! I came to tell you that I am soon to depart on the youthful activity of trick-or-treating! Are you sure you do not wish to join in this beautiful display of friendship?!"

Gaara wondered how he could have a crush on such a total spaz.

"I'm quite certain, Lee san." Gaara straightened and pretended to dust himself off, slipping the eyeliner up his sleeve.

"Then I shall see you later at the party! Have a joyously youthful time with Naruto san!" Lee shot him a giant smile and disappeared in a blur of green.

Gaara let out a sigh and slumped back against the tile of the bathroom wall, staring at the destroyed door.

Kami, if we do get together, if he moves in with me, I'll be dead within the week. Gaara banged his head against the wall. Maybe I could get Naruto to pressure me into asking someone else out. That Hyuuga girl seems nice, very quite, less…spastic…

Gaara stood back up and shook his head. Lee's spastic energy and excitement about LIFE was what he was attracted to in the first place because obviously Gaara had a death wish.

He stepped over the chunks of door and gathered his costume from the guest bedroom and locked the house behind him. At the very least, the evening was sure to be interesting.

:break:

Sasuke was having a horrid time.

He had stupidly kept his word and had shown up in costume to go trick-or-treating with Sakura and the others.

After the bloodied tissues had been taken care of, the girls had flocked to him and started cooing and giggling and touching him. He swore to Kami that one of them touched his crotch. And he knew that Neji touched his ass. After that, they all latched onto him as they walked door to door and insisted (dragged) him to get candy with them. Everywhere they went there were little brats talking to him, pulling on his costume, he'd never before wondered if he could live with himself if he killed a child but now he seriously considered it and yeah, he was pretty sure he could handle it.

All in all Sasuke didn't think he'd ever been so annoying in his life. He kept looking at his watch, counting down the minutes until he could see what Naruto had been so secretive about. He hadn't seen the dobe since he had found out some bitch had stolen the blonde's virginity from its rightful owner and he was already anxious, especially considering he was with that redhead freak all alone.

Sasuke paused in glaring at shock of pink hair under the nurse's hat. Naruto was Gaara's date. Gaara being a guy. Which meant… his inner chibi Sasuke gasped and squealed. Naruto was gay?! Or at least bi? Sasuke almost fell to his knees to thank Kami but there were people around. But there was still that redhead in the way. Sasuke glanced over to Sakura laughing at Lee's antics. He relaxed his stance and called out to the green ball of energy.

Lee stopped in the middle of an impressively flexible stretch and stared at Sasuke in shock. He couldn't remember the last time the Uchiha had spoken to him.

"Yes, Uchiha san?" Lee said at a normal volume, shocking everyone within hearing range.

"Gaara's rooming with you, right? Does Gaara like Naruto? You know, like as a lover?"

Sasuke rose an eyebrow at how Lee paled slightly and frowned. Sasuke hadn't seen the boy frown seriously since the Third had died.

"I do not know, Uchiha san. He has not mentioned anything of the youthful sort to me. However, he was putting on make up before he left for Naruto san's…"

"Doesn't he always wear make-up?" Sakura asked.

Lee shook his head vigorously. "The marking on his eyes are honestly from his insomnia. I have heard him in the middle of the night wandering around. We spoke one of the nights…" Lee looked away. "I am sorry I do not know, Uchiha san."

"Hn." So the green freak had a crush on the red freak? Then what the hell was he doing with the pink bitch?? Sasuke felt a migraine coming on so he checked his watch. It was time for the party. Finally! He really needed some alcohol.

"Oh, Ino! We should head back! I'm sure Hinata and Kiba are already there!" Sakura linked arms with Sasuke and Ino and dragged them in the direction of Ino's house. Sasuke's palm longed for the comforting weight of his katana but his costume unfortunately did not provide him with means to kill the pink one.

:break:

Naruto smoothed his skirt down for the nth time as they walked to Ino's house. He squished his boobs, reassured by their presence that he at least didn't look like a TOTAL idiot in a dress.

Gaara looked over at him and smirked slightly. "You look nervous, Naruto."

"No shit I'm nervous, I'm in a fucking dress tebayo!"

"You look very lovely."

Naruto glared at him. "That's not supposed to be a good thing!"

"It's Halloween. Relax."

"I just feel like I'm going to get raped or something…" Naruto admitted, glancing around at the dark bushes surrounding them.

"You're a ninja, you're not going to get raped." Gaara deadpanned.

"Hello?! Have you NEVER watched hentai!? Ninjas get raped all over fucking place! And besides how the hell am I supposed to fight in a twenty pound dress and heels!?"

"It's really that heavy?" Gaara looked surprised again.

Naruto grabbed the skirt and pulled it up to show the ruffled petticoat under it that gave it its shape. "Yeah it's that fucking heavy dattebayo!"

"…Do you want to hold my hand?" Gaara asked monotonously.

"WHAT?!" Naruto shrieked and raised an arm to defend himself.

"If you're scared."

Naruto stared at him suspiciously past long dark eyelashes. "No, that's okay."

"Fine, suit yourself but quit being so skittish."

Naruto looked at him for a long moment before he turned and continued walking, Gaara followed shortly after.

"I'm just nervous, that's all dattebayo."

"It's Uchiha san, isn't? You like him."

Gaara held back a smirk at the shocked expression that plastered itself on Naruto's painted face.

"What the—? How did you—?"

"You know, I've been wondering…" Gaara said, completely ignoring Naruto. "I don't think that Lee is the type to get jealous, especially if the person he's jealous over seems happy."

Gaara stopped and whirled back to stare at the still shocked Naruto. "However, Uchiha san is an irrationally jealous and possessive person. If he likes you, he will without a doubt try to rip us apart tonight, and Lee will try to get us back together, even if he likes me."

Gaara held up his forearm. "So I have a plan that should get us all what we want."

Naruto stared at him a moment more before he nodded and laid his arm over the redheads, just like lords and ladies and then made their way up the walkway to Ino's front door.

:break:

Sasuke scowled at the world, leaning against a kitchen countertop littered with peanut shells and half empty beer bottles.

Naruto was late. And Sasuke was getting annoyed at the constant buzz he was maintaining without the ability to go over the edge and get drunk.

He growled and downed the rest of his beer before he shoved his hips from the counter and made his way to the front foyer, where he planned to lean against the cheesy mock-Grecian statue.

Just as he made it to the statue the door bell rang and Ino struggled past the pulsing bodies to open the door. Sasuke cringed at Ino's shrill squeal and decided to move forward when he glimpsed red hair.

"Oh my God, Naruto, I love it! You have to make me one!"

"Ah hah, if you pay me I'll make you anything you want tebayo." Sasuke's head snapped up halfway through shoving someone out of his way. That was Naruko's voice.

He saw Gaara standing there, looking vaguely amused, dressed like a lord, looking at where Ino, who was dressed (surprise, surprise!) as a French maid, and the person hidden behind her, presumably Naruto.

Ino moved and Sasuke stopped dead where he was and he could feel his jaw drop. Naruto stood there in his sexy jutsu. His blonde hair was twisted behind his head with small blue rhinestones clipped in it, his eyes were made up with eyeliner and soft blue eye shadow, his lips were painted a dark glossy pink, his ears were glittering with gold and diamond dangling earrings, his neck was shown off with a baby blue ribbon choker, and his abundant breasts were pushing against the lace of the top of his dress in a classic corset manner. Sasuke only got that far before he felt something warm trickle down to his lip. He wiped it away swiftly and committed to memory how gorgeous the tanned dobe looked in the baby blue silk form-hugging dress and white silk gown gloves.

He'd be lucky to be rid of the wet dreams in a month.

Naruto smiled at Ino brightly and Gaara wrapped a hand around his waist and whispered something into his ear and they departed from Ino to the other part of the house.

Sasuke growled. He would kill the Kazekage if he laid a hand on his dobe!

He ducked back into the crowd and stalked them into the other room.

:break:

_**He's watching you, kit.**_

_I know._

_**What are you going to do?**_

_Go with Gaara's plan, of course; I'm just so nervous!_

Naruto smiled graciously as Sakura molested him, checking out his outfit. He caught Lee staring at him, then glancing at Gaara only to go right back when their eyes met.

Naruto said something about liking Sakura's slutty nurse outfit. Not that he said it that way.

Sakura leaned on Lee and grinned at them. "Lee dressed like a doctor for me! Isn't he _sweet_?" Lee fidgeted in the lab coat thrown over his usual spandex.

"He is." Gaara agreed, staring straight into Lee's eyes. Naruto held back a snicker when Lee's cheeks colored.

"How—how were the movies, Gaara kun?" Lee asked.

"They were fine. Filled with phony blood and youth." Gaara smirked.

Naruto pulled on Gaara's arm slightly. "Let's go get something to drink tebayo!" He grinned brightly up at the red head.

Gaara nodded and they headed to the kitchen, both fully aware of the three sets of eyes staring at them.

They grabbed a couple beers and Naruto dragged the redhead out to the dance floor. He grinned at the gothic music pulsing and started moving against his date sensually, determined not to be nervous at the gaze burning at him. If anything, he should give Sasuke a show. Gaara gulped when Naruto pushed his breasts against him and started moving his hips in a way Temari would kill them both for if she were here.

"Come on, Gaara, start feeling me up!" Naruto whispered in his ear and Gaara swallowed again and put his hands on Naruto's hips. "It has to look natural, man, come on, fucking feel me up!" Naruto hissed into his ear and goddamn the peer pressure, his hands were sliding up Naruto's sides and over his arms. Naruto grinned at him and Gaara resisted the urge to stomp on the blonde's satin blue heels. Gaara caressed his waist and Naruto dipped slightly, making Gaara's hands come near his breasts and Gaara got the point. Unfortunately, the song ended before he could manage to grope the blonde and immediately someone was tapping on his shoulder. He turned around to see two furious Sharingan swirled at him. He moved away instantly and Naruto gasped when he saw Sasuke's costume. He didn't know whether to drool, blush, or laugh at the skin tight leather cat suit, ears, tail, and chunky high heels. He decided laughing was the safest in regards to his ass.

"I didn't know you were a fetishist dattebayo!" Naruto giggled.

"I didn't know you liked dressing like a woman." Sasuke countered smoothly and wrapped his hands around Naruto's waist, pulling him forward against the smooth shiny leather.

"I'm not dressing like a woman, teme, I am a woman dattebayo." Naruto argued, not realizing that it would only make things worse.

"Hn. Still hot." Sasuke growled as he started moving them into a dance.

Naruto blushed and moved his hips with the small sways Sasuke was making.

"No whiskers?" Naruto managed at last.

Sasuke's hand cupped his face and Naruto almost started laughing again when he saw that they were painted black with small clear rhinestones glued on them. But Sasuke's intense stare quickly cleared his mind.

"I would steal yours," Sasuke whispered, tracing them with his nails, causing little shivers to go up Naruto's spine. "But they look beautiful on you."

Naruto's face flared up and he ducked into Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke's hands trailed down his back and onto his hips and pulled him even closer and Naruto gasped softly when Sasuke started thrusting against him, turning it into a dance by alternating right and left. Naruto almost moaned when Sasuke lowered his head to whisper into his ear. "Do you really want to be here with Gaara?" Sasuke accented the name with a harder thrust and Naruto blushed to realize that he really was anatomically correct and it was a good thing he made panties.

"Who else would I be here with? You?" Naruto swallowed when he felt Sasuke smirk against his ear.

"If you were with me, we wouldn't be here. I'd have you at my place, doing deliciously sinful things to you in this dress."

Naruto's knees faltered and he thanked Kami that the song ended before he threw himself at the Uchiha. Sasuke let go of him and Naruto almost fell over. Sasuke smirked at walked off the dance stage. Naruto stared in shock as the cat tail flicked around Sasuke's legs. He wasn't secretly a cat-man, was he??

_**Seriously, kami, WHY?!**_

Naruto snapped out of his stupor and grit his teeth. He had to find Gaara and change the plan.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Chapter Four: "I lost my virginity in that bathroom...:

Luckily Gaara was rather easy to find considering that there were only so many tall redheads next to bowl haircuts.

Naruto stomped over as best he could in heels and grabbed Gaara's arm. Lee stared at them and smiled too brightly, even for him. "I'll leave you two alone to embrace your youthful passion!"

Naruto stared after him. _The fuck does that mean?_

"What's wrong Naruto?"

"Fuck, Gaara, we need to change the plan!"

"Why?"

"Because!! Sasuke's totally into me and it really sucks being horny as a woman, it feels nasty and I really don't want to cry and ruin my make-up as well tebayo!"

Gaara stared at him in shock. "What?!" He whispered.

"Okay, maybe you didn't need to know that but whatever! Point is Sasuke likes me so I don't want him having to try to comfort me and shit! We need to change it!"

"How?"

"Umm….fuck!...um…I could just dump you for him?"

"Just like that? One dance and you're in love?"

"They like gossip and it's easy to remember tebayo!"

"No, it's not good enough." Gaara said, staring down at the blonde, his lips pursed in concentration.

"I could get jealous…maybe."

Naruto rose an eyebrow. "You know how to act?"

"Shut up."

"How bout we just tell everyone what's going on? That's how they do in the movies, right?"

"This isn't a movie, baka."

"Shit."

They needed a way that everything could work out guilt-free.

"Fuuuuuuuuck."

"Hush, Naruto, I'm trying to think."

"You do that. I'll be back." Naruto squirmed and ran as best he could in the bodies to the bathroom.

Gaara paced behind a couch. Naruto could break up with him, saying he always loved Sasuke and he knew Gaara loved Lee but what if Lee didn't like him back? That'd prove to be very awkward. And what about Sakura? Lee would never just leave her abandoned.

Naruto sighed in relief as he emptied his bladder. He chewed his lip a moment before he lifted his skirt and looked at his panties where they were stretched between his knees. His nose scrunched up in distaste at the little stain of wetness.

"Oh, yuck, how can girls stand this?!" He dropped his skirt and got some toilet paper and went to wipe and froze at the sliding sensation. What the—

"SASUKE I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS DATTEBAYOOOO!!"

Sasuke paused and looked down the hall. It sounded like Naruto had just yelled at him. He walked over to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Hello?"

"Sasuke, you fucking bastard!"

Sasuke jumped away from the door with an amused smirk. "What did I do?"

The door jerked open and Sasuke rushed past the infuriated blonde and sat on the sink counter. Naruto whirled around, his teeth bared.

"Teme! Getting me all hot and bothered while I'm a girl! Do you have any idea how gross it feels!?"

Sasuke's kitty ears twitched and he held back a laugh. "You're…wet?"

Naruto glared at him and growled. Sasuke smirked and jumped down from the counter, coming chest to chest with Naruto. "Now how did that happen? Fooling around with Gaara?"

"Fucker. You know how it happened! I can't believe you! You did it on purpose tebayo!"

Sasuke pushed Naruto against the door, locking it. "Not my fault you can't control your hormones, dobe."

"Don't call me that! And yes it is!" Naruto tried to shove Sasuke away but Sasuke only pushed himself closer.

"Are you saying I excite you?" Sasuke whispered and licked Naruto's ear.

Naruto froze and Sasuke smirked. The dobe was so his.

"Teme, don't flatter yourself." Naruto growled and twisted from Sasuke to lean against the counter.

Sasuke licked his lips and lifted Naruto to sit on the counter, ignoring the indignant squawk he got from the blonde. Naruto kicked at his crotch but he caught the blonde's foot and leaned in close and slowly ran his hand up the dobe's leg. Naruto whimpered.

"Fuck, I told Gaara I was going to get raped tebayo!" Naruto whimpered, and inhaled to scream rape but Sasuke's mouth cut him off.

Naruto stiffened in surprised as the warm mouth moved over his, gently asking for entrance.

_**Fuck, kit, let him fuck you!! We haven't gotten laid in five years and you've wanted him for how fucking long?! Get on with it!!**_

_Shut the fuck up, Kyuubi._ Naruto growled back. He pushed Sasuke away and this time Sasuke let him.

Naruto stared hard into the black eyes that swirled with emotion.

"What the fuck, Sasuke? Are you just going to fuck me cuz all the other girls will expect a relationship?"

Sasuke smirked. "Tch. You think I like girls?"

Naruto's eyes widened. "Then why the hell are you coming onto me in my sexy jutsu?"

"Because," Sasuke swallowed and Naruto stared. He'd never seen the Uchiha so vulnerable. Sasuke's kitty ears flattened. "I like you Naruto. I always have."

Naruto's eyes widened. "Sasuke…"

Sasuke leaned forward and caught Naruto's lips and a shock went up his spine when Naruto kissed back. Sasuke leaned them futher onto the counter and wrapped his hands around Naruto's waist and Naruto reached up and held Sasuke's face, brushing his thumbs over Sasuke's jaw and cheeks as their tongues met in a joyous dance.

Sasuke pulled back and leaned into Naruto's hand. "Naruto…I think I really love you…" He whispered against the tan palm, staring at Naruto in the hopes of relaying his sincerity.

Naruto smiled and leaned up to kiss him. Sasuke stared down at the grinning blonde. "I love you too, Sasuke tebayo."

_**Fucking hell! You love him, he loves you, now fuck! You damn humans take far too fucking long to mate with all your mushy feelings getting in the way!!**_

Naruto fell back and huffed in annoyance.

"What's wrong?"

"Kyuubi won't shut the fuck up."

Naruto looked up into Sharingan and suddenly Sasuke was there inside his head with Kyuubi.

_**Fucking brat, get out and fuck him already!**_

_Kyuubi! I told you to shut the fuck up!_

_I understand, Kyuubi. I'll get right on it._

_What the fuck? Sasuke? Don't just leave!_

Naruto glared up into Sasuke's black eyes. "The hell was that all about?"

"Well, Kyuubi is a very old and powerful demon, I think we should do what he says." Sasuke leaned down and licked Naruto's neck just above the ribbon. "Besides, I've waited long enough to ravish you."

"But I don't want to change back and forth between genders!" Naruto whined. "That takes energy tebayo!"

"Then don't."

"But you don't like girls."

"I'll manage if it's you. Besides, didn't I already tell you I think you're hot? So," Sasuke shimmied Naruto's skirt up. "I can't take you home right now but I can still do deliciously sinful things to you in this dress. What do you say?"

"Shut up and do it," Naruto growled playfully, reaching behind the Uchiha to undo the zipper in the back that kept the catsuit from peeling off him.

Sasuke smirked and leaned forward to capture Naruto's mouth and shrugged out of the top half of the one piece and removed Naruto's heels. Naruto smiled against his lips as the god awful satin contraptions clanked to the floor. Sasuke pulled away for a moment and unzipped and stepped out of his shoes, making him a couple inches shorter. He wiggled out of the catsuit and Naruto stared at how the tail stayed attached to him. Sasuke crawled onto the counter and recaptured Naruto's lips as his fingers danced up the tan thighs to the forgotten panties. Naruto gasped when Sasuke touched his panties over the core of his discomfort.

"Just rip them off," Naruto demanded, bucking against Sasuke's hand.

"How?" Sasuke hadn't been able to fit any kunai into his costume and he doubted Naruto had been able to either.

Naruto growled and reached back and popped open the medicine cabinet. "anything useful in there?"

Sasuke smirked at the pair of mini scissors and nodded. He grabbed them and Naruto closed the cabinet and leaned back again as Sasuke lifted his skirt even more and made quick work of the underwear. He tossed the scraps of cloth and scissors away and looked Naruto in the eyes.

"Are you sure about this?"

Naruto grinned. "Teme, you're the one losing your virginity, remember?"

"Hn." Sasuke moved closer and stole Naruto's lips in a passionate kiss and all at once he buried himself in the tight wet heat. Naruto gasped against his mouth and whined slightly and Sasuke groaned.

"Are—are you okay?" Sasuke panted out.

Naruto smacked his shoulder. "Baka, ask me that when I'm a guy and you're up my ass. Move tebayo!"

Sasuke chuckled and thrust back in.

Twenty minutes later Sasuke opened the door and met a very disgruntled-looking Kazekage.

"Took you long enough."

"Hn." Sasuke smirked at him.

"Sasuke, get back over here, my legs are all wobbly dattebayo!" Sasuke stepped back and wrapped his arm around the blonde.

"Oh, Gaara! I'm so sorry!! I totally forgot about everything!" Naruto looked near tears and Sasuke pulled him closer.

"It's fine, Naruto, this actually is perfect."

"Perfect?"

"Yes. I'll storm out and you come after me screaming about how we never loved each other and how I love Lee. I caught Sakura giving some guy head about ten minutes ago so that's cleared up and I'm going back home tomorrow so if Lee doesn't feel the same then it's no big deal."

"Wait, you two have been plotting all night?"

"Heheh," Naruto laughed nervously at the glare he received.

"Okay, but Naruto can't walk yet."

"Let me go, I'll be fine in a minute tebayo!"

Sasuke's kitty ears twitched and Naruto stared. "How are you DOING that?"

"The ears and tail are connected to me by chakra strings."

"Like Kankuro's puppets?"

"Yeah."

"Sweet! You should wear those more often tebayo." Naruto said huskily and Gaara smirked at the blush that went over the Uchiha's cheeks.

"Can you walk?"

Naruto shifted his weight. "As long as I'm not in those heels, yeah."

"Alright. Let's do this." Gaara closed his eyes in concentration and furrowed his brow and gritted his teeth.

"Ooh, scary." Naruto chimed and Sasuke nudged him slightly.

"Set. Go." Gaara stomped off, his body stiff with pretend rage. Naruto picked up his heels and ran after him.

"Wait, Gaara! I'm sorry! Please don't walk away from me! You know I've always loved him!" Silence fell over the front foyer and Naruto stopped and Sasuke came behind him and wrapped an arm around his waist. "And I know you're really in love with Lee! So don't be mad, Gaara, please! It would have never worked out!"

Gaara slammed the door behind him and Naruto hid his face in Sasuke's shoulder, hoping he wouldn't have to really cry. The foyer burst into gossip and Lee ran out the door screaming Gaara's name.

Sasuke smiled down at Naruto and in an instant they were gone.

Naruto gasped when they appeared in Sasuke's room. It was huge!

Naruto giggled and flopped onto the bed and smiled at Sasuke as the kitty crawled on the bed to meet him.

"A lot happened tonight dattebayo."

"Hn."

"I can't believe it. I'm still in shock." Naruto laughed at himself and peeled his gloves off and undid his hair.

"Hn."

"What's with you?" Naruto asked when Sasuke snuggled his neck.

"Change back. I want your real voice."

"…has anyone told you you're really adorable?"

Sasuke's tail went straight and he hissed slightly. "Don't say stupid shit, Naruto."

"Aww, is Shashuke embarrassed?" Naruto cooed at him.

The screech that resounded through the Uchiha compound when Sasuke tackled the dobe blonde was talked about for years that the Uchiha complex was really haunted and every Halloween the spirits really came back from the dead.

Sasuke smiled into the tan neck of his new found lover. "Happy Halloween, dobe."

Naruto was already passed out.

owari

I want to make a epilogue but I need some ideas since it's 3:30 am and my brain is fried! Please throw me some ideas!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Epilogue: Five Years Later

"This is totally awesome! We should have thought of this first tebayo!"

"Hn. You're the one who wants to wait." Sasuke grumbled, straightening the blonde's tie.

"That's because I haven't thought of anything awesomely cool! And now Gaara beat me to it!"

Sasuke stared into his fiancée's eyes. "Getting married on your anniversary wouldn't take much effort to think of, dobe."

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "Well you didn't think about it either tebayo."

"Actually," Sasuke laid his forehead on Naruto's and smirked into his eyes. "I asked in spring so that if you wanted we could plan it for October without too much hassle. But since you couldn't decide on a date…" Sasuke picked up Naruto's left hand and kissed the ring that Naruto had worn faithfully every day since Sasuke had proposed. "We've been engaged to be married for two and a half years without any plan of the actual marriage. I'm starting to get impatient."

Naruto snatched his hand away glared at Sasuke. "Well you haven't been helping me tebayo!"

"Because I don't care what we do as long as we DO it already!" Sasuke growled and cut off anything Naruto had been about to say with a frustrated kiss. Naruto's eyes were wide when Sasuke pulled away. "You're my dobe, I want everyone to know it."

"Tch, everyone does know it; you're not exactly subtle in your possessiveness tebayo."

"That's not the point."

Naruto sighed. "I know. I just really want it to be special. I'm afraid I'll fuck it up."

"Unless you run out on me, there's no way you could fuck it up."

Naruto chewed his lip and opened his mouth to say something but someone shouted for everyone to get in place before he could get to it.

"Come on, teme." Naruto tugged on Sasuke's hand and they made their way to the front of the chapel.

Naruto parted from Sasuke and stood on the top of the steps on the right side, while Sasuke stood at the bottom on the left side, preceded by Gai sensei and Neji. No one was quite sure why Lee had asked Sasuke to be part of the marriage but nevertheless Naruto had talked him into it, seeing as how Naruto was the bridesmaid. Well, other-groom-maid since Gaara wasn't exactly a woman.

Naruto stifled a giggle as Lee situated himself in front of the priest. The boy was dressed in a god awful orange-pinstriped green suit. Sometimes Naruto wondered how the hell Gaara could stomach so much green. Then again, Sasuke stomached a lot of orange on his part.

Naruto tore his eyes away from the groom and watched the flower girl walk down the aisle, throwing rose petals with questionable enthusiasm. Naruto glanced at Sasuke and smiled at the tender but slightly confused look that graced his features.

The girl looked around when she reached the end of the pews, her bright blue eyes confused. Iruka stood up to retrieve her but she ran to Naruto before Iruka could reach her.

"Did you see! Did you see! Did I do good?" The little girl chirped, clinging to Naruto's leg.

"Yes, you did very well, sweetie, but now you need to go sit with Uncle Iruka, okay?" Naruto said softly, patting her head between her pigtails.

The girl pouted, looking even more like her blonde father. "But I wanna stay up here with you and Dad!"

"You can't sweetheart, now go sit with Iruka and Kakashi before Yuri comes and gets jealous!"

Naruto smiled after his pouting daughter as she stomped with four-year-old anger to her uncles.

"Kumiko, behave!" Iruka whispered to her as he led her to the pew he and Kakashi were occupying.

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged looks of amusement at their daughter's antics before they turned back to the door.

Naruto grinned when Yuri entered with the rings, his small hands clutching the pillow tightly and his face scrunched slightly in concentration. Naruto could almost hear the little chant of "I will not drop the rings. I will not drop the rings," running in his sons head.

The boy walked solemnly up to the front of the pews, looked at his fathers, and sat next to Sakura on the front pew.

"That was very good, Yuri." Sakura smiled down at him and he smiled, breaking the illusion that he was Sasuke's clone.

"Yatta! I'm glad!"

"Yuri! Yuri! I want to sit with you!"

"Kumiko! Sit down and behave! The ceremony is about to begin!" Iruka pleaded, tugging on her dress for her to sit.

Yuri turned around and put a finger on his lips. "Shhh! We can play later!" He whispered back to his twin.

Kumiko pouted and sat back, much to Iruka's relief.

"All rise."

Iruka tried to get Kumiko to stand but she stubbornly sat with her arms crossed as Kankuro escorted Gaara down the aisle.

Naruto sulked slightly that Gaara wasn't wearing a dress. The redhead sure picked one hell of a time to refuse to give into peer pressure. But Naruto settled that the white suit was gay enough.

Kankuro stepped down to the step under Naruto's and the ceremony began.

Naruto, with his short attention span, found himself staring at the orange pinstripes of Lee's suit until he fell into a sort of trance. Before he knew it, everyone was clapping and he snapped out of his trance to see Gaara and Lee kissing, a sight he always regretted witnessing. He turned away and was glomped by a ball of flying blonde hair.

"Do we get cake now?!" Naruto chuckled and nodded.

"In a little bit, Kumiko. Let's go get your Dad and brother, ne?"

Sasuke and Naruto met outside the chapel and exchanged their children and Naruto smiled down at the little Uchiha clone.

"Let's go find Iruka and Kakashi and head over to Aunt Ino's." Naruto said and Sasuke nodded before his face was grabbed by little tan hands and Kumiko made him look at her while she blabbered on about nothing.

Naruto chuckled and led the way to the car.

Twenty minutes later Sasuke and Naruto plopped the twins down into the laps of their unsuspecting uncles.

Iruka looked up in surprise when a mini Sasuke grunted at the impact.

"What—?" He glanced over at Kakashi to see Kumiko pulling down his masks, one by one with growing frustration.

"Teme and I have some reminiscing to do. Would you watch the twins for a bit?"

_**I think that's the smartest sentence I've heard come out of your mouth, kit.**_

_Shut up, flea bag._

"Of course we will." Kakashi smiled up at them. Naruto stared when Kumiko got to the white mask and leaned forward in anticipation. He groaned with his daughter when the next one started the colors all over.

"It's like a goddamn magic trick!" Naruto complained and Iruka gave him a look.

"Watch your language around your kids, Naruto!" He scolded and huffed when Naruto waved him off.

"We'll be back later." Sasuke told them and he guided Naruto out of Ino's living room and down the hall to their favorite bathroom.

Naruto propped himself up on the counter and sighed as Sasuke locked the door behind them. "I wonder if she would sell this to us? It has so many memories tebayo!"

"The Sink Counter of Firsts." Sasuke agreed.

Naruto giggled. "Your first time, my first time as a woman, my first time enjoying myself, first-and last time, damnit- being knocked up." Naruto pretended to glare at the Uchiha climbing up on the counter with him.

"Whatever, I'm the one who had to deal with a pregnant dobe for nine months. I think I'm still bruised from when you found out it was twins."

"You better be."

Sasuke settled beside Naruto and kissed his engagement ring again. "Let's make a new first, ne?"

"There's something we haven't done?" Naruto asked disbelieving.

"Yeah, and it's been bugging me for a while. We've been together for five years, dobe, and I still have not been bottom."

Naruto choked on air and stared at the Uchiha.

_**Haha, he wants to be our bitch! Let's fucking DO this!!**_

"WHAT?!"

Sasuke looked away, fiddling with Naruto's ring. "I keep reading about how gay couples usually alternate positions and it keeps bugging me that we might be missing out on something."

"Are you serious?!"

"Yeah, dobe, I'm serious." Sasuke met Naruto's shocked eyes and bit his lip. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"It's not that, it's just that I never thought you'd be willing to bottom! Never even crossed my mind…"

_**Get over it and let's fuck him!!**_

Naruto sweatdropped and turned to Sasuke when the raven's hand squeezed his.

"I want to, Naruto." Sasuke said softly, staring into the azure eyes.

Naruto hesitated then smiled. "Have I ever told you how adorable you can be?"

Sasuke sighed. "Every other day, dobe."

"Aww," Naruto leaned close and kissed Sasuke softly. "I love you tebayo!" Naruto cooed and Sasuke smiled despite himself.

"I love you too."

Naruto smiled and looked around. "Then, I guess we need to find some lube for you, ne. I warn you, it may hurt like a bitch anyway."

"I know." Sasuke leaned to the side and kissed Naruto while he dug in his pocket for something. Naruto laced their fingers together on the counter and kissed back. Sasuke pulled away and handed Naruto the lube he had brought with him.

Naruto looked at it funny. "Just how long have you been planning this tebayo?"

"Few weeks." Sasuke shifted nervously.

Naruto chuckled. "Mint and aloe, huh? You'll be all cold and tingly!"

"Shut up, dobe, it'll help."

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto leaned over Sasuke and captured his lips and maintained the kiss while he stripped the Uchiha of his upper clothing. He swatted Sasuke's hands away when they tried to undress him. He had lost countless shirts due to Sasuke's impatience and Naruto didn't really want to have to buy another tuxedo. He glared at Sasuke's smirk as he carefully removed his own tux and laid it on the tub edge. Sasuke reached up and tugged on Naruto's boxers but Naruto swatted his hand away again and the raven fell back pouting.

"You're so cute dattebayo!" Naruto cooed and Sasuke wiggled as Naruto removed his pants and shoes and socks.

"You're taking too long! I'm getting cold." Sasuke complained.

_**See, I'm not the only one who thinks you two take far too long to get around to the sex!**_

Naruto frowned slightly and yanked off Sasuke's boxers, making the Uchiha squeak in surprise at the increased chill.

Sasuke almost giggled when Naruto tore off his own boxers, muttering something about impatience but he was not going to give Naruto anymore to blackmail him with.

Sasuke's mood immediately sobered when Naruto popped open the lube and poured some on his fingers.

"Do you want me to distract you?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke shook his head vigorously. "No. I want to feel everything."

"Okay, but don't kill me if it hurts. Tell me if you want to stop, okay?"

Sasuke swallowed and nodded. Naruto crawled on top of him and stared deep into Sasuke's eyes and smiled at the nervousness swirling in the midnight pools. "Just relax, teme."

Sasuke jumped when he felt something cold against his entrance and winced when it slid into him. Sasuke squirmed and looked back into Naruto's eyes. He clutched the arm Naruto was supporting himself with and nodded. He bit back a whimper at the second finger that brought a slight burning sensation. Naruto started thrusting his fingers in and true to his word, Sasuke started to feel cold and tingly instead of burning. Naruto started stretching him and he grit his teeth, trying to relax and breathe. Naruto smirked when he found the little bundle of nerves that made Sasuke twitch. He massaged Sasuke's prostate and soon the raven was completely relaxed and groaning in pleasure.

"Are you sure about this?" Naruto whispered and Sasuke looked up at him in surprise.

Sasuke smiled slightly and latched his arms around Naruto's neck. "Yeah."

Naruto popped the top to the lube, squirted some onto himself, and hissed slightly at the cold. Sasuke wrapped his legs behind Naruto's back, bringing him closer.

"Alright." Sasuke clinged to Naruto when he felt the prodding at his entrance and whined and held back burning tears when Naruto pushed through into him. "Just relax, tebayo," Naruto kissed Sasuke's cheeks and neck, earning an excited shiver from the man under him. Naruto groaned when the tension on him lessened from unbearable to amazing.

"Move." Sasuke demanded and Naruto kissed him hard on the lips and thrust the rest of the way in and almost passed out at the suffocating pleasure. He swallowed Sasuke's cry and coaxed the raven's tongue into playing with his as he built up to a steady rhythm. He shifted angles and broke away from the kiss and smiled when Sasuke screamed. He leaned down and started sucking and biting at Sasuke's neck, hitting his prostate every other thrust, causing the Uchiha to writhe and moan and arch in such an erotic way that Naruto had to calm himself down lest he come before Sasuke.

Naruto came back up and thrust hard into Sasuke's prostate, and Sasuke cried out and gripped Naruto's neck harder so that his fingernails scratched the tan skin. Naruto smiled and looked down into Sasuke's face, memorizing the image of his love panting and gasping and flushed in passion. He wondered if Sasuke felt this happy and accomplished when he was seme.

"Sasuke," Naruto gasped his name and trailed his fingers down the ivory stomach. Sasuke's eyes fluttered open and stared up at him, half mast and swirling with emotions. "Let's come together, ne?" Naruto smiled and wrapped his hand around Sasuke's member and groaned when Sasuke arched and clenched in pleasure. Sasuke's body started spasming more as Naruto stroked him and Naruto's arm almost gave out under the waves of pleasure washing through him. Sasuke moaned loudly and yanked Naruto down and kissed him hard. Their kiss was mostly teeth and tongues and panting but they didn't care. Sasuke broke away slightly and clutched to Naruto and Naruto ground against his prostate and stroked him roughly and Sasuke cried out as he came. Naruto moaned at the clenching muscles around him and released himself as well. Sasuke twitched when Naruto pulled out and Naruto giggled. Sasuke tried to glare but gave up and sat up against the mirror. Naruto slid off the counter and walked over to get a wash cloth with trembling legs. He smiled at Sasuke as he waited for the sink water to turn warm.

"So, was it everything you dreamed of and more?" Naruto giggled.

_**Let's fuck him hard into a wall and it will be.**_

_Wasn't asking you, horny bastard._

Sasuke smiled and looked down at Naruto when he started wiping Sasuke down with the warm wash cloth.

"We are so taking turns." Sasuke sighed and looked at Naruto worriedly. "I didn't hurt you, did I? I saw you making faces."

Naruto chuckled and started wiping at Sasuke's supersensitive spots. "You're just really tight, that's all. Nothing I can't handle tebayo! How about you?"

Sasuke waited until Naruto was done cleaning him off and the twitching stopped. "I'll probably be sore later, but that's to be expected. But," Sasuke leaned forward and yanked Naruto towards him for another kiss. He broke away and smiled. "It was everything I'd hoped for and more. Thank you."

_**No, thank you.**_

_Fuck you._

_**Fuck him!**_

Naruto smiled. "Of course! I'm glad you liked it." He finished cleaning himself off and soaped up the wash cloth. "So," Naruto watched Sasuke slide off the counter and start retrieving his clothes. "If I set the date, will you buy this sink counter for me as a wedding gift?" Sasuke paused in buttoning his shirt.

"Of course." Sasuke smiled at him and Naruto melted and wringed out the wash cloth.

Sasuke buttoned up his pants and pocketed his tie and handed Naruto his tux. "Come on, dobe, I'm sure Iruka is having a nervous breakdown trying to control the twins."

Naruto pulled up his pants and shrugged on his shirt and Sasuke started buttoning it while he zipped and buttoned his pants. He stared up the two inches the Uchiha had over him and leaned forward and kissed him. Sasuke leaned into him and cradled the blonde's neck and kissed back. They broke apart and smiled at each other.

"I love you teme." Naruto whispered.

Sasuke kissed the blonde's nose and Naruto giggled. "I love you too dobe."

Naruto grinned and shrugged on his jacket and hung his tie around his neck. Sasuke handed him his socks and shoes and they sat down next to each other to finish dressing and just stared at each other when they were done, the perfect picture of emotional intimacy.

Naruto grinned and leapt up and unlocked the door. "Come on, Sasuke, let's go find our kids. We promised to take them trick-or-treating, remember?"

"Fuck, I hate trick-or-treating." Sasuke growled and followed the blonde out into the hallway.

"I know. The things you sacrifice for our kids!"

"…are you being sarcastic, dobe?"

Naruto looked back at him and grinned. "Oh, I forgot to tell you tebayo!" He said, completely ignoring Sasuke's question. "Happy anniversary!"

Sasuke was about to yank Naruto back and demand answers but the twins attacked them before he could. Kumiko, sunflower no jutsu, flew into Naruto's chest and toppled him over. Yuri was dressed like a little skeleton and he clinged to Sasuke's leg.

"It was horrible, Dad! Kakashi started telling us all these scary stories!"

"Uncle Iruka took us to get our costumes though." Kumiko nodded and looked at her parents. "How come you're so messy looking, Dad?"

Naruto laughed and Sasuke blushed. "Me and Dad were playing a game, that's all."

"Who won?" Yuri asked and looked between the two. "It looks like Daddy won."

"We both won, Yuri, that's the best kind of game to play." Naruto corrected.

"He kicked your butt, didn't he?" Kumiko whispered sympathetically.

_**You did something to it!**_

"So are you two ready to go trick-or-treating?" Naruto asked.

"YOSH!" The twins screamed at the same time. Sasuke winced.

"Dad doesn't want to go." Naruto said slyly and Sasuke gulped when two pairs of pleading eyes met him.

"Please, Dad, PLEASE!!" Kumiko begged.

"Yes, let's go." The twins glomped him and he joined Naruto on the ground.

"Yatta!!" They ran off to find their uncles and Naruto turned to Sasuke and kissed him briefly.

"Happy Halloween teme."

"Happy anniversary dobe."


End file.
